The Top 3 Reasons We Fall in Love

Hani Henry, who is chair and associate professor of Psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology of the AUC, believes that Robert Sternberg's psychological theory explains why people fall in love, and they are in fact the most common reasons, which are intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Intimacy

A basic friendship is a relationship that involves a person falling in love with another person for intimate reasons. It lacks commitment and passion. "Besides developing a close connection with someone, a lot of people seek intimacy for self-enhancement; it doesn't necessarily have to be for sex," said Henry. "Sometimes it can be self-serving. Everyone longs to feel loved and cared about. Women need to feel their femininity while men desire their masculinity.

A perfect example of intimacy captured is Adele's Hi. Adele, in the chorus of the song, calls her ex-boyfriend to vent her grief about their relationship. She says that she hasn’t been able to heal herself after so many years. "Her lyrics are magic and speak for many people who want an emotional connection with anyone, or even a short-term romance," he stated.

Passion

The normal thing to do is fall in love due to strong feelings or desire.  gitarijada  develops from feelings that lead to sexual attraction and romantic interest. Henry said, "When you find someone you like, it is because you are attracted by something that makes you feel that way." Henry explained that physical attraction can be described as a fascination with hair, eyes, and the body.

Infatuation is a feeling of love that develops without intimacy or commitment. People are attracted to one another and develop a sense of lust. Some people become obsessed with a person and view them as an object. You can be with someone for years and don't feel there is commonality between you and that person," he said.

Commitment

Total love comes from commitment. He said that people who are looking for commitment seek stability and a healthy relationship. "People who seek only commitment can be unable to find basic friendship and sexual attraction.

According to Henry, in modern times, young adults are interested in objects more than relationships. He explained that objectification is a result of consumerism. "The more consumeristic the culture becomes, the less interest people have in commitments. Some youth are more interested than others in pleasing people they don’t care for. So everything needs to be consumed, even relationships with people."

Love Outside the Triangular Theory

Although it's common that anyone can relate to Sternberg's love theory, we all have our personal reasons for falling in love. Your reason for falling madly in love does not necessarily have to be explained by science. Some personal needs can be the fear of being alone, social peer pressure, satisfaction or religious values," Henry said.

Despite what psychology has to say about love, the type of love we choose defines who we are. Each person has their own understanding of what makes them happy and fulfills their human needs. "Some people are caught with a need that meets each dimension of the triangle and they can't give up on two because of the different needs they get. Love can be complex.